It's easy being the one your friends turn to for advice, for comfort, or for just a listening ear, but it's so hard to listen to one's own advice. Basically it boils down to the state one is in when giving away words of wisdom. Being in the center of the crisis turns you from counselor to the one being counseled. There'll come a point when everything you know is a whirlwind. You don't know what to do nor what to say. 

Listening to How's it going to be by Third Eye Blind just sums up everything I'm feeling. I want to get out of this, I want to forget. I wish it were so easy like a switch. I wish I can just be numb in an instant, not waiting around looking down at my phone checking and praying for a message from you; hoping the hurt won't affect me as much anymore; wishing that the memories of you and I will fade into oblivion. It's what you want, for me out of your life, from strangers to friends to lovers to strangers. It hurts. The pain is the only thing I could feel right now. I want you and I don't. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe tomorrow it won't hurt as much. I'm still building the courage to let you go, I'm not ready.